Being Enough

It is easy to lose yourself...

It is easy to forget your dreams... 

It is easy to become blind to the path ahead... 

It is easy to sell yourself short...

It is easy to forget who you are...

...It is hard to know yourself...

It is hard to go for your dreams...

It is hard to see where you are going...

It is hard to know what you deserve...

It is hard to remember who you are...

At one point in my life, I believed every single one of those statements. For some reason, I had convinced myself that I would never be enough. I wouldn't be enough for my family, for my friends, or for anyone who romantically came into my life at any point in time. I was constantly waging a war in my head about who I was and who I wanted to become. Fighting a war with yourself is exhausting and sometimes you give in to the idea that you're not good enough... So much so that you believe that you are not enough for yourself.

T H I S  I S  A  L I E!

There once was this girl. She grew up with everything any little girl could ever desire. She had dresses, toys, jewels, friends, and a family who embraced her with love and happiness... But deep down inside, she had a secret. She believed she was worth nothing. That despite the clothes, the jewels, the money, and the abundance of people around her, she felt lonely and incomplete. She carried this seeded belief into her teenage years and then someone very close to her passed away... And, for some reason, their passing validated her feelings that she was worth nothing and everyone would eventually leave her.

Years went by and we find her in her early twenties. Two boyfriends later, and a lesser opinion of herself than ever before, but unbeknownst to her, a pilot light had lit in the depths of her soul. This small flame was tired of people thinking they could walk all over her, that others thought she wasn't good enough to not be treated with kindness and love. As the years ticked by she started to search for ways to love who she was...

To cherish her body.

To love her soul.

To adore her everything!

Then one day, all of her hard work paid off. In a matter of six months, she had discovered a way to help her mind heal from the emotional abuse she had fed it through her negative talk. Through constantly telling herself she wasn't good enough and that because of this, no one would ever stick around or want to be with her. The journey to when she finally was able to love herself in the very moment she was living in, wasn't an easy one. It took trust, it took faith in herself, and it took love.

...This girl was me. I was her. And I am just like you.

The steps I am about to take you through will seem simple. The difficulty will be in allowing yourself to let go of what you have known. To allow yourself to believe that you can get to a place where you love yourself completely. Now I am not perfect, I still have a lot to do to love myself perfectly but I know that I am on the right road. That the path I am following will lead me to a place of such deep adoration of who I am and what I want to become that nothing is going to hold me back. I am still human, I still error and falter just like you. My point is, the first step is to simply...

S T A R T   T O D A Y!

My first thought when I started on my path to loving myself was that, I needed to STOP trying to fix myself and others! And to simply try to love myself instead. As I began to start to try and love myself rather than fixing her, I started to see others the same way. I started to see them with love rather than a need to figure them out so I could see their faults and try to "fix" them.

You will never be able to help anyone else if, first, you don't help yourself.

You have to ALLOW yourself to feel first.

When we feel stuck or feel like we can't ever get close to anyone else, it is because we have put up walls around our heart. This could be for many reasons. 

Someone hurt you.

Someone is hurting you.

You don't think you're enough to allow anyone else in.

But the biggest kink in the chain of the lock that is wrapped around your being, is...

YOU KEEP HURTING YOU.

Until we stop talking negatively to ourselves and beating ourselves up for not doing something perfectly, we will not be able to reach whatever we truly desire in this life.

Perfectionism is the enemy to progress. 

Also, you have got to...

LET YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK! 🎣

We are all human. We make mistakes. We hurt people when we didn't intend to. We say things we don't mean. We allow outward things to influence what we feel on the inside. One way I have discovered and been taught how to take care of myself and lessen the amount of times the things above happen to me is through Declarations.

Declarations are a compilation of statements I have written about who I want to be or have gathered from other sources. These can be as simple or as complicated as you want. Also, if you hear a statement from another source, it is okay to write it down and use it for your own. Here is a short list of a few of the declarations I say in the morning after I wake up and in the evening before I go to sleep...

I awaken each day to my magnificence!

I live a passionate and fulfilled life!

I add value to other peoples lives!

I am a being of light who is excited to shine!

I am confident and charismatic!

The funny thing about our mind is sometimes it needs to be retrained or reprogrammed. When we are young, some experiences we go through determine how we handle things or what we believe and those decisions and beliefs, sometimes, end up following us into adulthood.

Another thing I started doing is in the mornings before I do anything else, I have a routine I do that helps me take care of me. (1) First and foremost, I make my bed. I have a system where I start in bed to tuck in one side, then I crawl out and make it all nice and neat. I've come to find that when my bed is made, my mind is clear and fluid. I'm also able to interact with my surroundings better. I find myself being responsive to whatever happens rather than reactive.

(2) I, then, greet my higher power. Personally, I like to call Him, my Heavenly Father. 

(3) Then I listen to some form of audio that is educating. Could be something related to my religion, could be a podcast, or even an audio CD that helps me in some way or form. Whatever I want it to be that day, that's what it is.

(4) Next, I listen to a power song. This song is something that helps me feel motivated, invincible, like my day has already been conquered. Sometimes my song changes weekly, sometimes it changes monthly, sometimes I don't change it for 6 months. Sometimes it is a slower song that speaks to my heart and sometimes it is one I can get up and dance to! Whatever your preference. Your power song is YOURS! Currently, I am listening to this one...

(5) After I feel pumped up from listening to my power song, I state my declarations. Now, I don't just stand there and say them in a monotone voice. I move around. I do hand gestures to the phrases. I strike a superhero pose. Anything you can do to move while you state your declarations will help your mind begin to believe them faster, so then you will become them. Another way to upgrade this experience is to listen to some EPIC music. This EPIC song is what I ALWAYS listen to while I am stating my declarations...

(6) The last thing I do before I leave for the day or interact with any other human being is... I meditate. I know, it sounds kind of odd. I never imagined myself to be someone who meditates but the benefits now far outweigh what I was doing before. Because before.... I WAS STUCK! And I HATED being stuck. I was stuck emotionally, physically, spiritually, and the list goes on and on. 

In February, I was taught a specific meditation where I gather light into my being and then allow myself to shine at the end for all the world to see. As I am gathering light, I thank my mouth for the kind words that she speaks throughout the day. My ears for their willingness to listen to others and to myself. My nose for allowing me to experience the joys and sometimes the discomforts that the world allows us to experience. My eyes for being able to see the beauty around me and recognize the love that it took to create such beauty. My mind for her clearness of thought, her willingness to see a problem and then immediately begin to search for a solution; for her willingness to uplift us and shower us with love. My neck for holding up my head and for carrying her all day. My shoulders for their willingness to carry the responsibilities we have the privilege to carry each day. My lungs for inhaling and exhaling. My heart for loving others unconditionally and being open to new people and experiences. My internal organs for functioning properly. My legs for carrying me throughout the day; for the squatting we do to be able to get down on the level of our beautiful students. My back for helping me stand up straight and keeping my frame strong and sound. My knees for their willingness to bend and straighten. My ankles for their support and my feet for carrying me throughout the day and being strong throughout.

As I have done this specific meditation, and as I do touching each spot in relation to my gratitude, I have felt an immense difference in how I treat and talk to my body and myself. If you would like to try this meditation, I have a song I listen to specifically as I go through it. It is incredibly important that as you do this meditation, you PROMISE yourself that you will be PRESENT in that moment. It will make it a 100x more powerful if you do. The song is The Light by Estelle Blanca. You can either find it on Spotify or just click the link below.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0djoygyoZQgdHLrHuNrvfP

Now, I know a list of 6 things to do in the morning before anything can seem daunting. My morning routine is simply an example for you. You don't have to follow it exactly as I do it. When I first started, I literally had two things on my list.

My challenge to you is to find two things that you can start doing each morning for yourself. To begin telling your mind that you love her/him and want to take care of her/him. We all deserve to be taken care of. A big issue I have seen in myself, is for too long I was looking for validation from outside sources. But, as I began to look within myself for validation and love, I began to finally feel it and believe it. You are worth more than diamonds, gold, silver, or any precious gem this world can offer. You were uniquely created and were intended to be here for a purpose. Selling yourself short is simply allowing some unknown being define who you are... When in reality, you have the power to choose for yourself what you are worth. 

NO ONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE WORTH UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM THE POWER TO DO SO.

I can promise you that as you begin to apply the two things in your life I suggested, you will find yourself beginning to love yourself more. If you say declarations in the morning and at night; if you discover your healing and fulfilling morning routine, you will begin to see a difference in how you feel towards yourself!

Because, my dear friends...

💖Y O U  A R E  E N O U G H!💖

You are powerful!

You are strong!

You are magnificent!

You have it within you to decide who you become and how you become them! Start choosing today to live the life you always have wanted! Choose today to finally begin the journey to truly loving yourself! As you do so, you will find opportunities you could've only fathomed before showing up.

Life is a wonderful journey! Don't get so caught up in the details or in worrying that you forget your destination!

Much love!

Someone just like you 💗

The Cleansing of Rain

All last week or the week before (I can't remember, ha) it rained which I found ironic in a sense because of what rainy days mean to me. I'd just gotten out of a relationship (as I have mentioned) and suddenly the skies were dark and overcast with rain falling down. Now to some that would mean depression and only make you miss your ex all the more... Not for me. I literally love rainy days so much! I feel calmed and more at peace when it's overcoast and the promise of rain is in the air.

During that week, it would sometimes pour, other times it was a drizzle, but there was always the scent of rain in the air. It was soothing to me, as I always seem to find rain soothing. Now you, like everyone else, are probably wondering why I love rain so much. More than not I would tell you what I would normally tell them which is simply that I love the sound of rain. The truth is much more complicated. There is so much more depth to my feelings than the simplistic answers that are given in everyday mundane conversation between acquaintances. I'm going to let you get a little under my skin with this post.

My love for rain is more than the sound of it pitter-pattering on the roof of a car or a tin roof. It's more than the way it ripples on the water's surface as it lands or the way it slowly descends on a windowpane and you find yourself following its meandering path. As your eyes follow, you find yourself reminiscing. You remember your past, the sad, the happy, the fantastic. You'll find yourself choking up over the sad memories, grinning from ear to ear from the happy ones, and almost outright laughing from the fantastic moments you recall. Once you've satisfied yourself to the past, you measure the difference from your past self to your present self. You recognize the changes not only in your appearance but in your soul, in the development of your personality. You connect the difficult times of your life to the kind of person you have become today, now, at this very moment and you feel almost grateful for the trying times. You feel grateful because you know that without them you would not have become who you are, at least not to the depth that you have currently reached and are seeking to reach in the future. This trail of thought leads you to thinking about your future, but you don't think too far ahead because it can be painful wondering what is in store. Who's waiting for you or who's not going to be around or even if you believe that you can actually become the person you are imagining. After all is said and done, you spend your time pondering and you feel a sense of self, like you have reconnected with your soul and you can take the next step forward with a clearer picture of where you want to go and who you want to be. After you have analyzed your past and present, you know that no matter what you go through in the future, you can always make it out on top because you're here now, aren't you? You've possibly already experienced your own personal Hell and have come out the other side conqueror! So, you know that you can do it again, if need be, with a different situation because you have proven to yourself and with the support of your Heavenly Father that you are strong enough.

Rainy days are my days because it gives me the perfect excuse to do all of that; to contemplate my past, my present and my future. Even with all of that immense depth (c'mon let's be real, that was pretty deep, am I right?!). Rainy days mean so much more than just a day to reminisce. Rainy days allow new beginnings. The rain washes away the dust, the mud, and even cleanses the atmosphere. The air smells before and after rainfall as sweet and refreshing as a cool glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. The rain is cleansing and purifying. It doesn’t just mean a new beginning or a fresh start for the land it washes over, it also means that I can begin anew, that through everything; every heartache, every tear, every angry moment, it can all be washed away with every raindrop that falls.

Just like the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. All of it is washed away and made new and made easier to carry when we accept His beautiful gift of redemption into our lives. Through His saving grace and His love all can be washed clean just like the Earth after rainfall. I love rainy days because it reminds me of the Savior and His atoning sacrifice He has gifted to us which is a sacrifice of love. He loved all of us SO MUCH INDIVIDUALLY that He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for each of us individually. He bled at every pore and cried out to the Father in anguish, went through THE most traumatic event so that we could all live with our Heavenly Father again. What a gift! What a gift of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! How powerful is love truly? The Atonement is a testament of our Savior's love for each of us and for His love of our Father in Heaven. Not only of His love for us and the Father but what a testament of his testimony of the Plan of Salvation and of the Lord's plan for each of us individually! He knew that we would need help when we came to this Earth to live a mortal existence. A mortal existence, where we could learn and grow to become more like Him and His Beloved Son. How blessed and how loved we are! Knowing that and understanding it, that is where true joy lies and that is why we push on and why we continue to progress and move forward. When we understand that all we need is His love and Him, everything will fall into place. When we truly know, and I mean KNOW who we are and our Divine Nature, it makes ALL the difference! Every moment of every day, knowing that I have a Heavenly Father and an Elder Brother who love me unconditionally and support me in my righteous endeavors that is what gives me the strength to press on and to be the best me I can be. His love is unmatchless and unfathomable. If we knew, truly knew, how much the Lord loves us, we would be overwhelmed and overcome with such pure joy, we would not know what to do with ourselves. Understanding His love and His plan and following His guidance, that is when we find true happiness and when we live His teachings on top of it... No words. There are not words to describe how we would feel because it is that unfathomable and that WONDERFUL!!!! Just like the way I feel during a rainy day, being washed clean, feeling of His love for me and knowing that through His Atonement, I can always be washed clean, just like the Earth after rain.

A rainy day is my new beginning. A rainy day is my time to remember where I am going and who I want to be. It’s my day and my time to remember and move forward with renewed strength. My day, my time to progress with the Savior and my Father in Heaven as my guides.

Be Happy! Be Strong!! Most of all, BE YOU!!! <3 xxx